Scottish Nous

Third Household Post

For the first two, see here (how to fold shirts) and here (how to vanish marks off any surface).   The subject of today's lesson in home economics is the removal of bloodstains from fabric.  I hereby testify that Carbona(R) Stain Devils #4, for Blood & Milk (as well as, presumably, all other protein based stains such as egg or baby formula) removed two week old untreated bloodstains nigh instantaneously.  This was a pleasant surprise, since the fact that you can buy Carbona(R) Stain Devils in numbers one through ten, coupled with the fact that the active ingredients are not listed on the admittedly small plastic bottles, made me suspect a devious marketing strategy was at work: might the same formula be packaged in differently labelled containers?  Well, if so, I certainly have no complaints about #4. My quilt has been restored to perfect condition with no rubbing required.

I Believe in Magic

Having spent an entire week cleaning my old apartment to secure the return of my security deposit, I have decided to defile my blog yet again by pointing out that Belle Waring is right.  The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is indeed truly amazing.  You also do not want to know what a 725 square foot apartment that requires every bit of one hundred man hours of cleaning looks like.   The new apartment is very shiny, however.  I have even, in Jeff Bridges' (sans illicit substance) style, christened the new tub.

Hu? What?

Hype or not?  You decide.  Hu Wenliang is offering close to 17K USD if you can decode the novel he has claimed to have written using as characters only fourteen unique punctuation marks.  Now you can express quite a bit with fourteen punctuation marks (think of all the smilies you can make!), but claiming to have written a novel is a different story.  I call !@_!!$++!^.  Interpretations of the five chapter titles, roughly reproduced below, are welcome in the comments.  See here for the story.

:  ?
:  !
"'... ...'"
(,   ) * ((,  ))
: -- --

Update:  Actually, I think I have reproduced the entire "novel" above.  In other words, those marks may not just be the chapter headings.   But I can't be sure, since the linked article is poorly written and short on relevant information.

Mixed Metaphors

Geoffrey Pullum critizices popular author Dan Brown at Language Log.  Some of the criticism is a bit harsh.  For example:

An intelligence director has eyes "which despite having gazed upon the country's deepest secrets, appeared as two shallow pools" (do some people's eyes change depth after viewing a few classified memos?)

I take it that Geoffrey is peeved that Brown here used the preposition "despite", which may, to a  pedant, not only suggest but also demand the existence of a causal connection between the two linked clauses.  Personally, I wouldn't have complained.  But there are gems:

But the acme of inexpertly crunched metaphors in Deception Point is on page 27 (and I swear I'm not making this up): he uses the expression "learning the ropes in the trenches".  Think about that for a while.  The ropes metaphor is navy; being in the trenches is army.  You can't be in both services at once — hauling up sails on a clipper while dug in behind barbed wire on the western front.

Google vs. Microsoft

Google beat them to it, but Microsoft is responding.  If you haven't yet seen Google Maps, click here for a map of downtown Denver, Colorado.  Then, click the little button which reads "satellite" in the upper right corner of the map, and zoom in for a close up shot of high rise downtown.  The map is fully draggable in either map or satellite mode.  Incidentenally, the shots weren't taken by satellite, but by low flying planes, as evidenced by the off-vertical shots of the sides of the skycrapers.  Next, try looking up your address and pinpointing your car (if, that is, your car happened to be parked outside when the planes flew overhead).  Microsoft's response, which I do not believe has yet been unveiled, goes just a bit further with fourty-five degree angle shots.  Absolutely insane.  I even managed to pull up the arial shot of X-10 National Laboratory in Oak Ridge, Tennessee.  The roads to X-10 have been, due to Homeland Security foolishness, closed to public traffic, but terrorists can now pinpoint every building in the complex.  You might even try to locate Area 51.  Other benefits include avoiding paying aquarium admittance fees.  Majikthise thinks she sees whales.

Showers Kill

So I'm now probably seriously brain damaged, according to Dr. John Spangler of the Wake Forest University School of Medicine.  Not that we didn't already know this, of course.  Why?  Because I take at least one steaming hot shower per day, and I have done so for the past fifteen years.  Apparently, this practice exposes one to manganese overabsorption through steam inhalation.

Inhaling it leads to a 'direct unfiltered pathway of toxins' to the brain which increases the risk, they argue.  Studies on rats suggested a tenminute shower every day could cause brain and spinal cord damage, behavioural changes and a tremor condition similar to Parkinson's disease.  After ten years, children would be exposed to manganese levels three times higher than the doses needed to damage the rodents' brains. Adults with a longer history of showering could be exposed to doses that are 50 per cent higher.

Comforting, isn't it?  Now I'm off to take another hot shower.  Read the article here.

Shirt Folding Kung-Fu

I must have no shame whatsoever to post this, but I suppose that comes with blogging, right?  So I confess... I tried the technique, and it works flawlessly.  To fold the perfect shirt instantly, check out this video (1.5 Mb). [Via NoodleFood.]

Loch Lomond Webcam

Maybe I'll post my paper on "The New Riddle of Induction" tomorrow.  For now, go view this webcam  focused on Loch Lomond in bonny Scotland and see if you can spot a rarely appearing strange ducklike creature, nicknamed Spot by the locals, that has made Loch Lomond nearly as famous as Loch Ness.  An exercise in futility to say the least.

Unprotected Security Cameras

If you're really bored, you can peruse thousands of online security cameras that are not password protected by Googling for certain strings.  Via googling "google": The Register reports.  Or just try these links yourself: Link1, Link2, Link3, Link4.  Maybe you'll catch a burglary (or something more salacious) in progress. Some are even rumored to stream.  I leave it to my readers to assess the morality of such voyeurism.

When Are Two People Identical?

Denver Bronco's cornerback Champ Bailey demonstrates remarkable philosophical acumen regarding the problem of personal identity, something most undergraduates struggle with.  The problem is often put as follows:

Person x is identical with person y if and only if ____________.

where succesfully filling in the blank gives the necessary and sufficient condition(s) for personal identity.  Many undergradutes think, due to the use of two variables, that the question to be answered is when two people are identical.  Of course, that's not the question, since two people can never be numerically identical.  From the Boulder Daily Camera:

So Michael Vick and Aaron Brooks are basically the same guy, right?  "They're from the same area, but (they're) not the same person," Denver cornerback Champ Bailey said.

So true.  So true.  To be fair, Champ Bailey followed up with, "Come on, it's no comparison", indicating he had qualitative - not numerical - identity in mind.