The Worst Argument Ever for the Divine Authorship of Scripture

I give you, for your amusement, an excerpt from the preface of John W. Haley's Alleged Discrepancies of the Bible:

The author was moved to prepare and publish the present volume by the circulation of a pamphlet, in a certain parish, setting forth in a striking and plausible manner the so-called "self-contradictions of the Bible."  This production, cunningly adapted to deceive the ignorant and unwary, was reviewed by me in a course of Sabbath-evening lectures, which form the nucleus of the present work.  The pamphlet just mentioned, with many others of a similar character, I afterwards found to be the fruits of an organized and systematic plan to poison the public mind by scattering broadcast, in the cars and upon steamboats, and in other places of public resort, as well as through the mails, a cheap and virulent infidel literature.  That these nefarious attempts result, in far too many cases, in subverting the religious faith and the morals of the young, there can be no question.  And the means employed by the friends of virtue for exposing and defeating these "devices of Satan" seem, I regret to say, less efficient than is desirable.

The preface is thoroughly populated with references to infidels.  Haley is "hard core".  At least, that is how my girlfriend pithily described the overbearing calvinistic tones up to the glorious loss of the soul even to which the Almighty God has decreed that the "discrepancies"  be "permitted to exist" within the canon.  Yet perhaps the most amusing portion of the book consists of one argument, given in the chapter "Design of the Discrepancies", for the inclusion  of countless prima facie inconsistencies.  I quote:

In nature, then, we perceive mighty discords, tremendous antagonisms, which in appearance seriously involve and militate against the character and attributes of God.  Nevertheless, nature is confessedly his work.  Now, we find the Bible claiming the same supernatural origin, and exhibiting, among other features of resemblance, similar, though far less important, discrepancies; hence these latter afford a valid presumption in favor of its claim.

Permit me to summarize this argument:  The world is areally shitty place, yet God nevertheless created the world.  God is, therefore, the creator of a piece of pretty shitty work.  The Bible also appears to be piece of pretty shitty work.  Therefore, God is probably responsible for it.

Comments

[Dr Pretorius]

Huh.

That's actually a better argument than most - at any rate, I see that some thought has been put into it. Perhaps not quite enough thought, but still it's an argument to remember.