Stern Gambles with Pascal

What's newsworthy below is the complete and total unnewsworthiness of this information.  Yet USA TODAY felt the need to share this with us:

America's most famous shock jock, who moves to Sirius Satellite Radio in 13 months, has been reading the Bible.  With all this talk about how the country is into religion and morality, Stern, 50, figures it was time to read The Good Book.  Of course, he hasn't gotten past Genesis, and he has problems with the part about God creating night and day.  Too obvious.  But he doesn't want to be too critical.  "I'm always afraid to say anything about God.  What if there is a God?"  Stern's other passions include... Bianca Romijn-Stamos, an English bulldog he named after a stripper and the supermodel.  "Bulldogs are so ugly that I had to ger her the most feminine name I could find."

Is there a common thread running through this excerpt?  Personally, I find it almost incoherent.  First, who cares what Stern is reading?  The same people who care what Oprah Winfrey is reading?  So Stern is, very late in life, making an attempt to remedy his illiteracy.  Who gives a shit?

The Pascal's Wager tidbit is amusing, though.  If there is indeed a God, I suspect the probability is very, very low that he would attach dreadful consequences solely to a few of Stern's literary criticisms.  Or, even supposing that "God" functions as a reference-magnet, and that each of Stern's Godward insults is beamed straight to the deity, the chance that any one comment (or set of comments) would be the straw that breaks the camel's back has to be, a priori, infinitely miniscule. 

In other words, if Stern's going down in flames, then refraining from making a few little remarks isn't likely to help him.  If he isn't going down in flames, then he might as well open up his mouth.  Put differently, if God's the sort of person who sends folks to hell for a remark or two, Stern already had it coming. 

Unless, that is, Stern has justification for believing that God metes out punishment in direct proportion to one's wrongs.  I suppose that, in such a case, refraining from casting vituperative amertumes at the Holy of Holies might save him a whiplash or two.  But even if God's the sort of guy/gal who would punish you more for being a bit critical of Him than he would otherwise, I don't think Howard will notice the one or two whiplashes he's saved himself from.

And how about a little fun with Blaise?  Perhaps God sends people to hell who refrain from insulting Him.  So what Stern should really be afraid of is keeping his mouth shut.  Every moment that he doesn't spend insulting our S&M loving deity is ten more years of excruciating suffering.  Wait, I have an idea.  Let's attach dire consequences to anything we want and then threaten folks with hellfire if they don't comply.  And after that, we'll throw Pascal's Wager at them so they comply for the sake of their eternal safety.  The problem is that Pascal's Wager only works if if you have a good and robust conception of how God treats people and for what.  And if you're justified in so believing, then it's no longer wagering.